had an insane amount of fun tonight.laughing truly is awesome awesome medicine, not that i was sick, but, well.
WENT HIGH IN MACAU CAFE, HA HA HA. anyway.
i honestly believe it wasn't coincidence that we pushed the flight back and i could go for the cornerstone thing today. because even though, i guess, i can go see shakers perform whenever i wanna in melbourne, something happened today that doesn't happen a lot.
it wasn't the music, although that was great.
and it wasn't the preaching; because it was a message i'd heard countless times before.
Position yourself for God to Move.
it was that, after 17.5 years of existence on this planet, i realized...
spiritual obesity, much like in the physical, is highly highly detrimental to me.
not only was i living a grossly unproductive life, even with all the "potential" and "talent" Dad'd given me, i was being fooled into believing that going for conference after conference, having "spiritual encounter" after "spiritual encounter", listening to sermon tapes on end, knowing every planetshaker song, every hillsong song, all that, was a big deal, or having any kind of positive effect at all. what good is all that if it just stays in me?
i thought i was being a "good christian" for knowing so much about the principles of God, the characteristics of God, the will of God, the structure of God, but in actual fact, i knew nothing, because i didn't know the heart of God.
it beats for the lost.
God's one desire is not that i should live in the lap of luxury.
it isn't that i'm the prettiest girl in any given photo, haha.
it isn't.. all of that. any of that.
God's one desire is to reach a broken world through willing vessels.
yes, i am in the arms of J and we are dancing under the stars.
yes, He holds my heart in his hand and whispers my name.
yes, i feel his heart beating and his breath against my ear.
yes, i close my eyes and savour that one perfect, beautiful moment where we are one.
but maybe, just maybe...
dancing in the arms of my Lover is more than just goosebumps and a warm gooey feeling that wells up from the inside of me.
maybe it is more than romance, more than hype, more than ideals and more than emotive responses.
maybe dancing in J's arms is about truly knowing his heartbeat and living the life of excitement, awesomeness, intimacy and terrifying, free-falling risk in order to make said heart glow with pleasure and pride.
just maybe.